Browsing Tag:

Dispersed Camping

    Day 23 | I’m Not Helpless Anymore

    April 1, 2017

    I woke up feeling much better this morning, and didn’t have any hives. Hooray! This is such a confirmation that my miserable symptoms yesterday were location related.

    I can’t express how thankful I am for having stumbled across the locations effect. It’s amazing how quickly I am learning control my illness now that I’m armed with the knowledge that my environment is the biggest symptom trigger.

    It seems so obvious now, but for most of my life, I never considered that the quality of the air we breathe could be even more fundamental to health than the quality of the food we eat. It’s a paradigm change for sure!

    A paradigm change that has given me a measure of power over my illness. I feel like I’m finally subduing the cruel monster that’s tormented and controlled me these last 5 years! I’m not helpless anymore and that is a wonderful feeling. Learning to identify biotoxin exposure and decontaminate quickly has helped me to see my illness as being separate from me. My body isn’t the enemy anymore, it’s an ally telling me when I’ve been exposed to something dangerous. And that is such a healing realization.

    Mold avoidance is still suffering but it is a different kind suffering than the pain of being at war with my own body. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult to be temporarily cut off from civilization and to be unable to even enter a building to use the bathroom. And yes, it’s incredibly isolating to not be able to interact with humans in normal contexts.

    Even so, I am finding this kind of suffering to be refreshingly different. It’s not nearly as isolating as being trapped in a sickbed with a level of mental and physical anguish that cannot be put into words. People can relate to this new suffering much better because it is not hidden inside of my body. The suffering isn’t internal anymore and that makes me feel much less alone. I feel less “other” and more human.

    Today we’re driving back “home” too our campsite on the public lands of Nevada. I am so happy to be going back to that feel good area! I’m really looking forward to sleeping under the stars again!

    I read aloud from 1 Peter today and would like to close with a short quote from the scriptures,

    “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

    1 Peter 5:10

    It’s so comforting to know that all the things we so desperately long for, are exactly the things that God promises to those who suffer well. Even a lifetime of suffering here on earth is only “a little while” in comparison to the eternal life we will live after being restored, confirmed, strengthened and established.

    I send out a weekly digest with updates about our adventures. To receive these updates click here.