This blog is the story of how my recovery has unfolded (and continues to unfold.) Stories make most sense when read from the beginning. This is why I have a table of contents page for new readers to access posts in order.
The Purpose of the Blog
Three years after starting this blog, I see two primary purposes for continuing to share my story in this context.
The first is to give hope. Specifically, I want to give hope to chronic illness sufferers that recovery is possible. I want the chronic illness sufferers and caregivers who read my posts to feel seen. I want friends and loved ones to leave with a little more compassion and understanding for those who are suffering in this way. More generally, I want to give hope to those struggling with the pain and sorrow of this life. Things won’t always be the same. Change does come eventually. Beauty, meaning, joy and love can emerge from seasons of darkness and pain
The second purpose is to increase awareness of the role of toxic mold in Lyme Disease, ME/CFS, MCAS, POTS and related conditions. The purpose of this blog is NOT to tell people how to recover from these conditions. My goal is not to convince people that they need to pursue mold avoidance and my blog posts should not be taken as an instruction manual on doing proper mold avoidance. I am not a mold avoidance expert. I am not a health coach. I’m not a doctor or scientist. I’m not even an amateur researcher who stays up late reading scientific journals and analyzing data.
I am just one chronic illness sufferer who finally found a way out. I am a successful mold avoider, which simply means I have succeeded in using Erik Johnson’s mold avoidance strategies to recover more health than I thought was possible. This blog is, in large part, the story of how I applied those strategies to my particular situation and the results I was able to achieve.
Naturally, I hope those who have exhausted their options and grown desperate, will become curious about mold avoidance and find in it the healing and joy I have. I hope that those who are not yet desperate will consider the locations effect and the role of mold in their illness and take action before it becomes necessary to pursue the drastic measures I had to pursue. I also hope that an awareness of my story will inspire healthy people to pay attention to the quality of the air they are breathing and take precautions that will spare them from needless suffering.
My story is just one of many that bear witness to Erik Johnson’s discovery that something weird is happening with mold. It appears that chemical pollution and nanoparticles in our environment are altering the way molds behave and upsetting the microbial balance of our earth in damaging ways. More and more people are paying the price. I was one of them. So on a larger scale, this blog is me adding my small voice to the large chorus of voices who are calling attention to this serious problem.
A Note on Truth
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I value truth. I believe that capital T truth exists. I have doubted just about everything, but I have never doubted the existence of objective truth. I believe truth is discover-able and that fumbling towards it is a worthy goal. I will always prefer to know an unpleasant truth than to believe a comforting lie.
This, however, does NOT mean that I believe all of my current opinions are objectively true. One of the biggest blessings of these difficult seven years, has been an experience of profound humbling. The result is that I have fewer opinions than I had in the past and I hold my opinions much more loosely.
The truth exists but it isn’t always simple. There is nuance and complexity. I don’t think any one human can have a complete understanding of the entire truth about a subject. We all believe a mixture of truths, half-truths, and lies. The truth doesn’t change but our understanding of what it is and how to apply it in different contexts can change a lot. I have faith that if we truly desire truth and are open to growth our shifting opinions will slowly move us towards greater accuracy and wisdom. Still, I think that in this life, we will at times take steps away from truth, make mistakes and believe things that are not accurate. We are fallible after all.
All that to say, I already disagree with certain things I’ve written on this blog. There are things I would go back and say differently. In the last seven years, I’ve changed or updated my opinions on things as varied as nutrition, theology, Lyme Disease, ballet technique, the Christian life, psychiatric medication, and iPhone games. I reserve the right to disagree with things I’ve written in the past and to update my perspective as I continue to strive towards the truth.
So I would like people to read my blog with this in mind: Each post represents the thoughts and experiences of one woman at one particular point in time. Some of what I write will be helpful and true. Some of it won’t. I always try my best to represent my experiences honestly and accurately but that doesn’t mean my interpretations of those experiences are always correct. I hope that my writing can reflect that humility while at the same time pointing in the direction of real truths about chronic illness, myself, the world, humanity and God.