Today was a really hard day. Objectively, it might not have been much harder than any of the other days. But for some reason, everything started to really get to me today.
First off, two police officers came to check on us in one day! I am so sick of police officers constantly checking on us! I mean, I’m glad they care and they’ve always been really nice to us. But still, it sometimes feels to me like they’re rubbing it in that we’re homeless. I know that’s not their intention but I just don’t like being in a situation where police officers feel the need to check on us all the time.
Worst of all, a bunch of our belongings got cross-contaminated when I went through the trunk to throw contaminated things away. I wish I hadn’t touched it because now it feels like almost everything has some itchy contamination on it.
We’re not sure what to do. Throwing everything out and starting over with a new rental car seems like it would be the best option but that’s expensive. Especially since we’ll probably need to do that again when we get our van.
I wish we could just get our van now! We’re so tired of being cold and uncomfortable at night! Unfortunately, Wyoming is still really cold right now and we need to be able to car camp or tent camp while Sara Mattson and her husband are helping us do the van conversion. I guess we’ll just have to make do for a few more weeks.
I’m also really tired of moving around so much and never knowing where we’re going to sleep at night. I just want to find a spot where we can stay for several months and come up with a good set up for showering, doing laundry, keeping our food cold, and doing work. I’m thankful that the unpredictably of my illness has taught me to be flexible but I really wish this level of flexibility wasn’t necessary! It’s a little beyond my comfort zone. Okay, a lot.
I guess I just needed cry today and Brett can tell you that I did. I just can’t wait until my reactivity starts going down and I can take a warm shower inside a building. Windy showers and pouring cold water on my head over and over for decontamination is definitely the hardest thing for me.
I’m glad mold avoidance is working so obviously well because I don’t think I would have the courage to stick with it otherwise. Thankfully, the results have been really dramatic for my health and I know that I will look back on this hard time and say that it was all worth it.
This is a really cute song my sister-in-law showed me back when we were still living in Portland. It’s for all of you criers out there. 🙂
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